Husband Wants Out of Marriage, Says Wife Won’t Listen to Him; She’s Fighting Back Hard

By: Abudu Olalekan

Mariam Alagbede cried in court cos her husband want divorce after 3 years. He said shes not submissive. Read what happened at Centre-Igboro.

Mariam stood there. Hands shaking. Three years of marriage. Gone like that?

She didnt believe it. Not really. But there he was. Muhammed Bashir. Her husband. Telling the whole world in open court that he wants out. Done. Finished. Kaput.

It all happened at Area Court, Centre-Igboro, Ilorin. Kwara State. Friday or maybe it was Tuesday. Court days blend together but this one? This one stuck. You could feel the tension. Thick like harmattan air.

Mariam Alagbede came from Idiape village. Ogidi Area. She wore her best scarf probably. Trying to look decent for the judge. For him. For anyone who would listen. Cos she needed someone to listen bad.

“Please sir,” she said. Voice cracking like old glass. “Help me beg him.”

That was it. That was her whole case. No lawyer speak. No big grammar. Just raw begging. She told the presiding judge, Toyin Aluko, straight up. She dont want divorce. She still love the man. Three years cant just end like this. Can it?

But Muhammed? He sat there. Stony faced. Arms crossed maybe. Or maybe they werent. But his heart was crossed. Locked tight.

According to the News Agency of Nigeria, he didnt sugarcoat nothing. He married her three years ago, yeah. But now? “Im tired,” he said. Tired of what exactly? “Lack of love.” And then he dropped the bomb. The one that made Mariam flinch like he slapped her.

“My wife is not submissive.”

Short sentence. Four words. Heavy like stone.

You know how it is. In these parts, that word carries weight. Submissive. It means different things to different people. For some men, it means respect. For others, it means silence. Absolute obedience. Eyes down. Mouth closed. Whatever happened in that house in Idiape village, only the walls know. But clearly, Muhammed had enough.

Mariam broke down. Right there in Centre-Igboro. She told the judge she sorry. For everything. For anything. Even things she didnt do. “Forgive me of any wrong I might have done,” she cried. Her voice carrying through the courtroom. People probably shifted in their seats. Uncomfortable. Cos raw pain is uncomfortable to watch.

Three years. She remember the wedding day? Surely she does. The music. The food. Her family from Idiape. His people. Everyone saying “congratulations.” Now look at them. Enemies in court.

Judge Toyin Aluko looked at both of them. Sighing probably. She sees this everyday. Marriages dying young. People giving up too fast or holding on too tight. She didnt bang the gavel to end it. Not yet. Instead she gave that usual advice. The one judges give when they want families to fix their own mess.

“Go to your families,” she told Mariam. “Both families. Talk. Settle your misunderstandings there.”

Simple advice. But hard to follow when the man has already moved on in his head. When he can sit there in public and say you not submissive. When shame already catch you for market square.

The court adjourned the case. No date fixed. Or maybe they said later. Mariam walked out with her wrapper tied tight. Holding back tears or maybe letting them flow. Who could blame her? She came to beg. She begged. Whether he listens? Thats another story entirely.

You see these things happen. A lot. Woman loves man. Man decides he wants someone more… what? Quiet? Obedient? Submissive? And just like that, three years become waste. But Mariam no gree. She fight. Even if fighting means kneeling in court and begging a judge to beg her husband.

Muhammed want divorce. Thats clear. But Mariam? She want her marriage back. She want to go back to Idiape village as wife, not as returned daughter. The gap between what he wants and what she wants? Wider than river Niger.

Family settlement. Thats the hope now. The two families sitting down. Elders talking. Maybe he will remember why he chose her. Maybe she will learn how to be whatever he wants. Or maybe, just maybe, this is the end of the road.

Love die everyday in courtrooms. But sometimes, just sometimes, begging works. We will see if it work for Mariam Alagbede. Cos she not giving up easy. Not today.

The gavel will fall again. Eventually.